December 23, 2024
What you drink something from matters. A lot. And it's different for different things. This also applies to eating things, but less so, since your lips aren't directly touching the dish. The right dish can certainly enhance a food, but the right container is practically make or break for drinking stuff.
I mostly drink espresso-based drinks, so I'll focus on that here. The container used matters for a few reasons. First, we want to keep the coffee at a good temperature for as long as possible. But also, I just like how some containers feel more than others or something, I don't know.
Paper sucks. Like, drinking coffee from a to-go cup is just not nearly as good, and it makes a bigger difference than it probably should. For one, it cools off the drink super quickly. You better pound that sucker fast, cause it will be cold in 10 minutes. But also, drinking from paper is just annoying. It's soft and has a little give that makes it feel cheap. And those double-walled cups are shit for the environment. Lots of bad things here. I recognize it as a necessity for taking coffee to go, I guess. But, honestly, I really feel like coffee is best enjoyed when you slow down and take a seat, preferably with some good company.
So, if not paper, what? You've got a few options, and it depends on the setting. A little cafe in Italy should serve you a small teacup with a cappucino in it and it will feel adorable to drink. But one in Spain should come in a big wide cup as a cafe con leche. Really, as long as it's some type of ceramic, it's totally fine. Stoneware is where it's at, though. Something nice and dense, but also a bit porous (but well-glazed). Maybe you can feel the texture of it a little on the outside. A high-quality cup will definitely enhance your experience here, and a good cafe will be elevated to great.
A thermos isn't as enjoyable to drink out of, but it can great to get some hot coffee way after it's made. This can be especially great for a cup after a hike. Let me tell you, enjoying some coffee at a higher altitude is certainly great, and the thermos is a great container for that.
Honestly, cold coffee is far less finicky than hot. Even if the drink gets a bit warmer, it's probably fine. Or the ice will melt a little. But still, it's totally drinkable for a good awhile. So, maybe the container doesn't matter as much here, but it still matters!
Again, it's best to avoid the single-use here. Not just because it's bad for the environment, but also because it isn't as enjoyable. The ice sloshes around in the plastic cup instead of clinking. And the lip often makes you spill a bit. Or maybe you're forced to drink out of (God forbid) a straw. Skip this, please.
What you really want here is a nice glass. Something tall like a pint glass is ok, but a shorter and stouter one is where it's at. Basically, a cocktail glass is totally usable here. Something that has a good weight and thickness to it, especially on the bottom. I don't know why, but the thick glass really makes what you're drinking feel more substantial. Not sure why I prefer the top to be more open, but it definitely lets you smell the drink a bit better. Still, anything glass (just about) will do.
Look, look, look. You know the drill by now, I know you do. Let me break it down for you:
Anything iced just belongs in a glass. The clink of the ice cubes, the subtle coldness to the touch when you pick it up, even the condensation that forms on a hot day. It's all just what I'm looking for. Plus, the bubbles are just better in glass for carbonated beverages. I don't know the science, man, it's just true (skip the straw, too, it messed with them bubbles).
Ah, right, water. Can't live without it, as they say. Water is probably the most adaptable beverage here. You can drink it out of anything and it's mostly fine. My personal pick, though, it a nice stainless steel water bottle. Something about the metallic slosh just sounds right.
Look, dude, you shouldn't be drinking soda. Not good for you. But, hey, sometimes a sweeet, bubbly beverage is called for. In that case, definitely don't drink it out of a can. Just awful. The aluminum smacks your teeth around like they owe it money, I swear. Such a horrible sensation. I mean, yes, I can drink with just my lips, but sometimes it just happens. Glass is king here, once again. Preferably over ice (no, I don't care that it waters things down, I want that shit cold).
Huh? Juice? We're still drinking that now that we ain't kids? Okay, fresh-ass cold-pressed juice I totally understand (still miss the OJ in Spain). But get outta here with the Sunny D. At the very least, can we stop pretending it's healthier than soda? So much sugar. Ok, ok, I know. This is about drinkware not sugar soapboxing. Juice is fine in a glass. Better than fine. It belongs there. In one of those breakfast-y glasses, I think. Small enough for kids. Don't ask why, that size is just right for juice and I refuse to elaborate further.
I don't drink much tea. Only occasionally. But, tea has to be served in some kind of mug or ceramic cup. What specific kind depends on the occasion. Most of the time at home in an American household, whatever random mug you got laying around will work for your biennial discovery that you don't really like tea much, and you'd rather just stick to coffee, thanks. But, let me tell you, if you ever find yourself grabbing some afternoon tea, you better believe you need some cute little teacups. The really thin and fancy ones. It just works better with a cucumber sandwich and a scone.
I think maybe matcha is the exception to this? Usually that's served in a little stone cup or something. I don't know too much about this, but I do love a good stone cup, so I support this. Or, there's also the matcha latte that's all the rage right now. Best in glass, but actually for some reason plastic ain't too bad here. Or, maybe it is, but I just never have matcha so when I do I ignore the plasticity. Most people get iced matcha lattes anyway, so this barely belongs here.
Man, hot chocolate is just too good. And so easy to make at home. Put that shit in your favorite disney winnie the pooh mug (or whatever random mug you have lying around) and it'll stay warm for a good while. Which won't actually matter, because you'll drink it before it has the chance to cool down. But anyway, my favorite here is a big mug with a wide opening. It's got to have a wide enough handle you don't hit the mug with your knuckles, 'cause that shit hot.
Okay, nobody actually wants to take a shot. You just usually do it cause one of your friends is making you. But, if you're going to make me take a shot, it better be out a damn shot glass. No, I don't want to take a shot out of one of those weird tall ones or just some random glass. It's genuinely so much worse than using an actual shot glass. Like, at least with the shot glass I know the shot will go down quickly right down the middle and without spilling. But the other glasses, I'll be damned if the alcohol can't just spill all over and linger in my mouth. Horrible. Stop it.
Ah, right. Some people drink liquor straight that isn't a shot. I forgot people like this exist (I am not one of them). Sorry, not for me. But I'm, told the glass used matters. For whisky, for example, you need one of them highfalutin Glencairn glasses. Apparently it shoots the scent right up your nostrils or some shit like that, idk. They look kinda cool, but I prefer something more solid. Listen: all I'm saying is I don't see anyone out here inventing a special vodka or tequila glass. Damn whisky snobs.
Okay, people actually accept that the wine glass makes a big difference. Oddly, I don't actually care that much which wine glass is used, but I'm not that picky with my wines (and certainly not cultured enough to care about big red wine glass vs wider big red wine glass). I think the glass used on white vs red probably matters, but if I only got one glass then whatever. Now, the glass you use for anything bubbly does matter. It matters a whole lot. I know people tend to use the Marie Antoinette's breast glass (why is this how I remember it), but no, that is wrong. All the bubbles will float away and it just ain't as good. You simply must use a tall skinny glass, like a champagne flute. Then, the bubbles will stay in and it will be more sparkly. Or something. Idk, I just like it better like that.
The quality of the glass probably matters a bit here, too. The thick glasses just don't quite feel as good. You don't need those super expensive thin glasses that break if you breathe on them wrong (unless you're aiming for michelin stars), but getting something a bit thinner than one of those $2 home goods ones is probably a good idea.
I'm not much of a beer drinker, but I do enjoy a good cider. Honestly... the glass here doesn't matter so much. Just make sure it is glass you're drinking from. We've all had a sad, warm beer in a red solo cup at a random house party, but that's just not the way to drink it. A full pint glass will do nicely here. You want something sturdy that feels a bit heavy when you're drinking. I'll also accept a flagon or something extravagant like that. It just seems fun.
Ah, shit, here's where things get complicated. For some reason, the bartenders, psychopaths that they are, have decided that every kind of cocktail needs its own special glass. Like, who the hell is Collins and why does he need his own glass? Frankly, I fucking love it, though. Makes me feel like a special lil boy when I get a fancy drink in a fancy glass. Some of them make sense. A tiki drink might come in some big, fuck-you sized ceramic monstrosity adorned with possibly culturally insensitive decorations. But I'll be damned if it doesn't taste just right with an orgeat-ass drink. Or, maybe the margarita really does taste better out of one of those cactus glasses. Keep it up, bartenders.
What's going on with martini glasses, though? They designed them shits to look as fancy as possible. Like you aren't drinking vodka and olive juice like some kind of Russio-Italian bastard. And how the fuck am I supposed to drink out of this thing without spilling all over myself? It's like it's designed to shunt liquor across my face evenly, just as much to my cheeks as to my mouth. But I feel fancy drinking out of it, God damn it. Especially if it's an espresso martini.
Okay, here's where this shit is make or break. I'll preface this by saying I am not Japanese and my opinions have no bearing on what is generally done in the culture where they primarily drink sake. But I do enjoy sake, so here I am giving my opinion out on it for some reason.
I can't tell you how many times I've been served (cold) sake from a glass. Like, sometimes it's a small glass, but I've also had it served in like a big ass glass, too. That just ain't right. It simply does not taste how it should. I have no idea what's happening here. What I can say is that sake served in a little stone cup is genuinely probably 5x as good. I am not exaggerating. I also love when they put it in a little stone pitcher thing, but that's optional. But man, let me tell you, I will almost definitely not enjoy a sake unless it's served in one of those little stone cups.
And so we have come to the part of this post where I complain about straws. I hate them. I remember always preferring to drink directly out of the glass, rather than use the straw. Like, if I have a big, gaping glass in front of me, what purpose does the straw serve? It's just more plastic for me to throw out. I guess some people like to use them to not ruin their lipstick, but I obviously don't have that problem. The worst is when I see people stick a straw in a can of soda. Like??? Are you ok? I promise if your teeth get 1% closer to a shade of brown, you will not die.
Ok, ok, I admit. There are some scenarios where a straw actually improves the experience. Bubble tea, for example. The straw is all but required here. If I can't rocket the little pearls directly into the back of my throat with a big ass straw, what can I even do? Use a spoon? Am I a medieval peasant? No, straw it is. A metal straw is nice, but I just don't boba enough to have one of those. Icees/slushees are another good example. I can't very well suck up the little icy bits, now, can I?
Ah, shit, you thought I was done? "He can't possibly have more drink apparatus things to talk about", you must have thought. Well, damn, I guess you're right. But I have more to say! Let's talk about noodles.
Different noodle shapes taste different. This is an undisputable fact, so don't even try. Long noodles are mostly superior, but man radiatore can give them a run for their money. Trader Joe's also makes this trumpet-looking squiggly noodle that kinda slaps. Don't even get me started with penne, though. Enjoyable, sure, but where's the sauce? Gone. Slid right off onto the plate, table, clothes, maybe even the floor. Anywhere but the thing entering your mouth, I say. It's not the worst shape (looking at you, pinwheel), but it's so common despite being shitty. Pick another shape and your guests will thank you.
Bread, too! But bread has way more variance than noodles for so many different reasons. But even just bread in a pan vs bread slapped onto a tray and baked. The texture will be different, both for the crust and the inside. Different reactions will take place, and it will be different. It matters!
Why have I written so much on beverages and their containers. I genuinely have no idea. But I can say that yes, I really do feel this way, sadly. And I am, in fact, mildly disappointed whenever I'm served something in the wrong container. I hope you are still able to go on with your life as normal after reading this life-changing post.